A Very Betsy Blog

Aloha.... Finally, A Blog Post

2011-07-03T22:32:00.004-06:00

A Pizza the 80's

2011-04-02T10:55:00.000-06:00

This week, I got invited to a party at a local restaurant called Pie Hole. Let me just say this: free food, free drinks, new people and an 80's theme? YES PLEASE! I took my friend Katie, and we had a ROCKIN' good time. Here's a few snap shots from that night.

And for the record, Pie Hole has pretty much the best pizza ever. And Vegan Tuesdays! Yay!

Love,
Betsy

The Sorrows of Spin Class

2011-02-13T20:34:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends,

What a fun week I've had! I am fortunate enough to live just two miles away from my favorite Gold's Gym. Two of my very best bff's, Jill and David, have been so motivational to me as far as getting in shape goes. They both also have gym memberships, and have been so good at inviting me to go to the gym with them, or agreeing to go with me when I invite them.

This last week, I must've felt very adventurous, because we ended up going to a few new classes we hadn't tried before. Yoga, pilates, and spin. The yoga was great, more of a work out than I thought. Pilates killed me! AND spin..... Have any of you ever done a spin class before? Holy. Crap. It killed me. *Almost* Literally. The bike seats were the worst part. The bike seat was probably the hardest thing I have ever sat on. Which leads me to the NC-17 part of my post. The ummm.... more tender parts of me that came in contact with the bike seat have purple bruises on them. And it really hurts to sit down. Its gonna be a week or two before I get brave enough to try spinning again. At least.

tn other news....this coming weekend, I'll be going down to Kanab with my mom to do some volunteer at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary. SO excited. Its a long weekend for me because of Presidents Day and I'm also taking Friday off, so I'm very very excited.

Anyway, thats about it for now. Hope you all have the most amazing week ever.

Love,
Betsy

Why I'm Still Single

2011-02-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:

Recently, a friend of mine encouraged me to try online dating. I tried it once rather unsuccessfully several years back and it left a rather bitter taste in my mouth. I had been giving it some thought for a few weeks and decided to create a profile on a free dating site called OKCupid. So, after uploading a photo and answering about a bazillion bizarre questions in order to match me with other online daters, I received the following email from the OKCupid website: (And yes, I really did choose the screen name "Beanzilla". I was feeling particularly creative when I created my profile.)

Ahoy, beanzilla! Time for a geography party.

We just finished programming this experimental toy. It generates heat maps of where your best male matches are, all around the world and the USA. Here are your results. All for you. Calculated from your match answers. In graphical form. Enjoy!

—OkCupid Interns, looking to make the internet more fun.

A Map of Love: your best male matches by state

target: USA | sampled: 23092

Your Worst States

Maine — 57.5

Vermont — 57.5

Oregon — 57.8

Washington — 58.2

Wyoming — 58.5

Your Best States

North Dakota — 62.6

Mississippi — 62.3

South Carolina — 61.9

Hawaii — 61.8

Alabama — 61.2

A Map of Love: your best male matches by country

target: World | sampled: 18446

Your Worst Countries

Turkey — 48.0

Serbia — 48.5

Croatia — 48.6

United Kingdom — 49.0

Iceland — 49.2

Your Best Countries

Singapore — 65.0

United Arab Emirates — 64.8

Indonesia — 63.8

Philippines — 63.6

Jamaica — 63.5

So, apparently, there are only three states in the United States where I have a high likelihood of meeting someone with similar opinions, values and thoughts about life. I guess I should consider moving to North Dakota. OR, if I decide to get brave and date internationally, I should consider people from Singapore or the United Arab Emirates. I have always known that I was *slightly* unconventional or maybe a little eclectic with slightly hippie-like tendencies, but seriously? I had thought I stood a relatively good chance of finding someone like me in the western U.S.

Friends, I'm about to throw in the towel again. I'm not moving to North Dakota nor will I move to Indonesia. I guess I will have to continue being blissfully happy all by myself. I do enjoy being single after all. I'm gonna go delete my OKCupid profile now.

Love,
Betsy

Reading Twilight Made me Sick. Literally.

2011-01-30T20:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,
I apologize for the lack of blogging the last week or two. I know, I know. I had promised (or resolved on New Years) that I would blog more regularly. But, I do have a good excuse for having not blogged for a while. I have been sick. As in death bed sick. *Cough, cough.* Ok, maybe not that bad, but pretty bad.

So here I am, back in the land of the living. I am not positive, but I'm pretty sure I had the flu. And it was horrible. Over the course of 4 days, I literally got out of bed maybe 6 times. The only thing that got me through it was Twilight. Oh, the shame! Oh, the humanity!

One of my favorite co-workers had brought me the audio cd's of all the Twilight books, right before I got sick. She was convinced that I might enjoy listening to them. I had honestly tried to read the books, after one of my dearest friends bought them for me convinced I would like them. I read the first one, and almost liked it for about 40 pages. Then I read it... a lot like the proverbial train wreck. You just can't avert your eyes, you know? I read it just hoping that it would get better.... and it just got worse. And worse.

So back to being sick. I came down with the flu, and I had these cd's. And I listened to most of them. My coworker was right. It was easier to listen to them than it had been to read them. However, I was still mystified by exactly what it was that made these books so popular. I mean really? Vampires that sparkle? Weird, co-dependent relationships that seem to dance right over the line of healthy love and swan dive right into a pit of despair and obsession? Ewww. And did I mention that vampires sparkle? The only men I know who sparkle are not interested in women. Just a thought.

Anyway, I am slightly ashamed to make this confession online, but at least I can honestly say that I thought Twilight was really lame, and I was open minded enough to give it a chance. Even though I was sick, and trapped in my apartment, and didn't really have anything else to do.

Oh yeah, on a side note. I had mentioned in a previous post that I had been vegan for the last couple months of 2010. Admittedly, I did fall off the wagon at Thanksgiving and then again at Christmas. I have been thinking a lot about vegetarianism for the last several months. It is something I believe in. I have always loved animals, and when I actually think about where meat comes from... it is a little hard to swallow. For New Years, I resolved to make veganism a permanent thing for my life. If you have any questions about what made me decide to become vegan, I would suggest you google 'factory farms' or feel free to ask me. I don't want to preach or be seen as pushy, but I just thought I'd let y'all know what I'm up to. Oh yeah, and I've lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks since re-dedicating myself to being vegan. So that is pretty awesome. Anyway, I'll step off my soap box right........... now.

Love,
Betsy

2010: A Year in Random Cell Phone Photos

2011-01-11T18:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:

So I decided that I should probably update my blog a little more frequently. You know, part of the reason that I haven't been updating my blog very often is due to the fact that I feel like my life has become a little boring. I was pontificating upon what I could blog about next, when I started looking at some of my friends & families blogs. I realized that really, I just go on, read a little and look at the photos they've posted. So.... I put two and two together, and realized that y'all would probably appreciate a more visually stimulating blog. (Don't get any ideas, you sickos, this blog is G-rated.) So, direct from my cell phone: 2010: A Year in Random Cell Phone Photos. PS- If anyone happens to read this and has an idea of what they would like to see on my blog, let me know. I'm suffering from writers block.

PNC Stadium in Pittsburgh (June)

Views of Pittsburgh

A Few Pics of the Kids

Vegan Yummies I Ate This Year:
Pumpkin Yeast Bread, Vegan Sushi & Hot Dogs (Yes, that was my birthday dinner of choice), and Single Serve Chili & Cornbread Pie, vegan as well.

Well friends, hope you enjoyed a visual glimpse into my life. Take care, and I'll write more again soon.

Love,

Betsy

2010: A Year in Review

2010-12-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Well, hello. Long time, no write. I know, I know. I pretty much suck at blogging. To be honest, I have taken a break from blogging and from Facebook too, really. How do I put this mildly? I got a little sick of whoring myself out over the internet, expecting everyone to be interested in my silly little existence. But guess what? For the sake of those select few of you who were kind enough to persistently bug me about updating my blog, here is an update! Enjoy.

Most Important and/or Interesting Events in The Life of Betsy, version 2010

1. From Federal Probation straight into Bankruptcy! In March, I was offered a position as an Intake Clerk for the Bankrtuptcy Court. It was a hard choice to decide to leave my job working for US Probation & Pretrial, but has proven to be a great move.

2. Movin' On Up! In March, I made another move. I moved out of my shoe-box apartment in the Avenues, to a slightly larger apartment in the 'burbs. My new digs include stainless steel appliances, a dishwasher, washer & dryer, and cable TV! Yes, I'm living in the lap of luxury. Don't hate.

3. I'm a Mom! In November, I made a life altering decision, and decided to adopt a baby. I adopted a sweet little girl, and spayed American Shorthair Tortie from the Humane Society. She was 8 months old at the time of adoption, and now I'm adjusting to being a single parent. What, you didn't think I'd actually adopt a human baby, did you? What, do you think I'm psycho? Kids are for people who don't know any better. Actually, I now have 2 cats, they get along great. And for any of you who may remember 3 or 4 years ago, I purchased a turtle, Sushi. He is still kickin' too. He's getting big, and he's one bad mother!

4. Even More Bankrupt! November was a good month. After about 7 months of the new job in Bankruptcy, I was promoted to be a Case Administrator. There has been some definite upward mobility at work, and I am so grateful for that. I am also grateful for the generous pay increase that comes along with the promotion, as well as the opportunity to work from home a couple days a week. Sweeeeeet!

5. More Fun Than Should Be Legal. Here are some random highlights to my life in 2010: Holding Cindy Lauper's hand at a concert in Wendover; getting to repo a car from a loser relative, with the cops backing me up; seeing my favorite band EVER, The Weepies, in concert the week after my birthday; in fact, this was a good year for concerts, and I got to see some of my very favorite bands; getting back in touch with a friend who I had lost touch with (love you, Daveypoopoo!), becoming a hardcore Vegan for 2 1/2 months straight, losing 15 pounds, then falling off the wagon and into a large cheese pizza; oh, and getting to go to Pittsburgh for a conference back in June was super cool too.

So there you have it. This blogging once every six months thing could turn out to be a good idea! Hope all of you are doing well. Love you all.

Love,
Betsy

I've Pretty Much Always Been Awesome

2010-06-27T18:10:00.001-06:00

Dear Friends,

Some of you may have at some point doubted my awesomeness. Some of you may have thought, "Boy, that Betsy. She's pretty awesome now, but there's no way she could always have been this awesome."

Friends, here this very day, I will offer you evidence, that yes, indeed, I have always been this awesome. Here is my proof. Prepare yourselves for the ruffled-bikini-of-pure-awesomeness! Yes, this is me, and at one point in my life, I looked SPECATACULAR in a bikini.

Yes, I really have always been awesome.

Love, Betsy

Summer Adventures

2010-06-20T20:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday my mom and I took advantage of the beautiful, summer sunshine and went for a little walk down the Jordan River Parkway. It was a perfect way to have a little mother/daughter bonding. I don't really feel like writing, so enjoy the pictures.

0 to Summer in 3.6 Seconds

2010-06-06T16:55:00.003-06:00

Dear Friends:

Is it me or did summer just magically appear overnight? Welcome to Utah, right? Snowing one day, 90 degrees the next. Either way, I'm happy that summer finally decided to grace us with it's presence. Though, I must admit I'm still a little bent out of shape that Spring was here for only, oh, maybe 2.4 hours.

Today was Stake Conference, which means I went hiking today instead of going to church! I'm so going to hell. I just needed to be in nature. It's been far too long since I'd gotten to get out and get dirty. I made a short jaunt up to Little Cottonwood Canyon, and found the first trail I could. I tried hiking this trail last summer with a friend, and we were both so out of shape that we couldn't finish. I ran into a couple at the beginning of the trail who mentioned that there was a lake at the end of the trail. That was total motivation for me to actually finish the hike.

There were tons of wildflowers, lizards were running all over the trail and the views were awesome. I'm so pumped for the rest of summer now. To get out and explore this great State. I'm proud to say I was actually able to finish the entire hike this time. Knowing that there was a lake at the end was motivating. Although, I must admit, "lake" is a pretty loose term here. It was more of a mudhole. Does anyone know what lake this is, by the way?

Anyway, hope you are all enjoying the beginning of a great summer.

Love,
Betsy

Bkrptcy

2010-04-14T20:06:00.001-06:00

Dear Friends:

The last couple weeks have been filled with ups and downs aplenty as I have tried to learn the ropes of my new job. My new position entails murking through mounds of paperwork and trying to stay afloat on a sea of details and fine print. Who would have ever thought bankruptcy could be stressful? Evidently, I had not contemplated bankruptcy enough prior to working for the Bankruptcy Court.

I must admit one of the highlights of my new job is my 'cubicle companion'. We share the same spacious, government appointed cubicle, though sharing is not a strong suit for either of us, as we are both only children. However, sharing hasn't been as difficult as one would have originally thought, and we have only threatened to divide our cubicle down the middle using duct tape once. Most days, I find myself chuckling under my breath at his random muttering and often I guffaw out loud at his sarcastic comments. (example: We overhear a customer talking who said "Wow, that's thick!" to which my cubicle companion turns to me and says, with one eyebrow cocked: "That's what she said!")

Another co-worker, one who has been integral in training me, also keeps me in stitches. Yesterday, having a question, I walked up to her and said, "Hey, I need some help. Do you have a sec?" She answers, "Of course! I have lots of secs!" (If you are not understanding why this is so funny, just say it out loud. You'll get it.)

Overall, even amid often overlooked details on my part, and data that has been inputted incorrectly, my new job is bearing many moments of laughter, and smiles.

Wishing you the same.

Love,
Betsy

My 30th Year of Life

2010-03-28T19:37:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends:

Shortly after my last birthday I realized that this would be the final year of my 20's. (I'm planning on being 29 for the rest of my life, FYI.) Anyway, I originally had all of these big, huge plans for making this the most awesome year ever. There were so many things I was going to do to celebrate my way out of my 20's and into my 30's. I wanted to go to Thailand, go back to school, start volunteering someplace, read more books, travel more. Well... here it is March, and I'm beginning to realize that I was probably a little too ambitious and overestimated how much I could get done in a single year. However, this year has still been a fantastic year thus far. Here's why:

1. New Apartment! As you know if you read my last blog, I recently moved into a new apartment. I feel like my new digs are more adult. Not adult in a porno way, I mean they are more grown up. I love the complex, and it has definitely been a huge step forward for me.

2. New Job! I recently applied for and received an offer to work in another branch of the Judiciary Branch of the Federal Government. I am moving up from U.S. Probation to U.S. Bankruptcy. While I never envisioned that I would work in this sort of environment, I'm really enjoying my time as a civil servant. The pay is great, and the hours are even better.

3. Back to School! I've been accepted to the U of U, and I'm starting back this summer. I'm still trying to work out the details, but it will definitely be a good move for me.

4. New Ward! With the move comes a new single's ward. I'm still new in the ward, obviously, but so far, I really love it. I feel at home there, very much, and am hopeful of making new friends. I'm going from being just one of 350+ ward members to being 1 of 50 or so. It's a tiny ward, but, as I said, I'm really optimistic.

Overall, I feel as though I'm moving in a good direction in my life. And while the big 3-0 is approaching faster than I would like to admit, and my plans to make this year insanely fun are not going exactly how I had planned, I feel like everything is just exactly how it is supposed to be.

Love,

Betsy

Moving on Up...

2010-02-26T16:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:

Once I went on a blind date. I asked him where he was from. His response was: "I'm from Taylorsville. So what are you, one of those snooty Avenues girls?"

Which was rather ironic, for numerous reasons. The most evident reason was that I actually did, in fact, live in the Avenues. Another reaon this comment was so ironic is that I'm clearly not snooty... well, maybe a little, but only towards men who accuse me of being such. Probably the biggest reason this comment was so funny is that my apartment was the size of a shoe box, was $475 a month, with no dishwasher, no laundry, and had chocolate brown appliances from the 60's. Yeah, buddy, that's a lot to be snooty over.

I still live in that apartment. My relationship with my apartment, even though a bit rocky at times, has been a long term and committed one that has lasted nearly three years. Even though I have felt like my little dwelling was not contributing as much as it should've been, the cheap rent and short commute made the relationship comfortable and stable. I rarely even thought about straying to another.

But friends, I'm leaving my apartment for something bigger, better and with stainless steel appliances! It started with just innocent flirting... the promise of a pet friendly community and low deposit. But I was then seduced by the idea of walk-in closets, remodeled kitchens and private patios.

I made the committment. I will be moving in the third week of March. Sure, there will be more of an investment needed each month, but it will be worth it.

Did I mention the dishwasher? And in-unit washer and dryer? I think this is it. Wish me luck.

Love,
Betsy

Happy Valentines Day: I Left My Heart in SFO

2010-02-11T16:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:

I work with a darling, older lady at Williams-Sonoma. We work together most Saturday mornings. Her name is Carol, and she is a hoot. She travels for business all the time- probably 75% of her time is spent outside of Utah. This past Saturday, Carol told me that she had just barely returned from San Francisco. Our conversation went something like this:

Carol: "Well, I just got back from San Francisco this week."

Me: "Oh, my gosh, I am SO in love with San Francisco. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I left my heart in San Francisco when I was there this summer, because Salt Lake just doesn't seem the same now."

Caorl: "Bets, I wouldn't be surprised if you left a little piece of yourself in all the cities you go to."

I don't know if I have ever had a more accurate statement made about me. Sometimes, I feel like the Grinch, with his heart two sizes too small. Sometimes, I feel like my heart was left behind somewhere, wandering aimlessly between places I'd rather be: New York, Chicago, San Francisco.

But ultimately, I think my heart is learning to be quite happy where it is.

Happy Valentines Day, friends.

Love,

Betsy

Dreams

2010-02-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:

Last night I had the craziest dream... I dreamed that I met a wonderful, gorgeous man, and we had begun dating. After we had been out several times, I realized that he was on Federal Probation. Somehow, he then morphed into another guy that I went out with once 2 years ago (who, on a side note was a total wacko and wouldn't leave me alone for weeks after our unsuccessful date). In my dream, we went out again, and he tried to give me a priesthood blessing at the end of our date/when I again told him I wasn't interested. I promise, I did NOT smoke crack right before going to bed.

I think this dream may have been brought on by 2 things. 1) I actually did go out on a date this weekend (the first one in over a year... *sigh*) and 2)I am notoriously unlucky in love.

I won't go into particulars about the guy or the date. I will say he was an awesome, really nice guy who treated me very well. But... at the end of the date, I just wasn't feeling 'it'. I don't know why, there was no one thing that made me lose interest in him. Maybe it's just that I'm so used to dates going horribly, horribly awry that I think something is wrong when they go smoothly. Maybe there is something wrong with me or my way of thinking and feeling, but at the end of the day... it just wasn't right.

The worst part was: he was totally feeling 'it'. He really wanted to see me again, and he was very open about his feelings. And I was so flattered. I know this will make me sound really immature, but in the past when this has happened, I've found the easiest approach is to just ignore their calls and texts until they get the hint and disappear. It kills me to have to hurt someone... so much so, that I get really worked up and stressed about it, and avoid the whole situation. Which makes things SO much worse, I know. This time, I was upfront, honest and as kind as possible. But I know he was still hurt, and disappointed. And while I absolutely hated doing it... it was the right thing to do... right?

Thanks for reading,

Betsy

So Tired I Can't Sleep

2010-01-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends:

I didn't really make any New Year's resolutions this year. I do, however, have what I have termed 'Foci for 2010'. (Foci is plural for focus, right? Maybe I should pick a different term, but I digress...)

One area I've been focusing on is 'Being a Better Friend'. Well... that's what I've told my friends anyway. I guess the more accurate term would be 'Conquering Social Anxiety by Forcing Myself to Be a Better Friend'.

Not understanding the reasons why, I have realized that I easily swing wildly between social butterfly and complete and total hermit. Can one actually be simultaneously introverted and extroverted? I think I am. Maybe it's social anxiety with a touch of mulitple personalities. And we are all already aware of my Tourette's Syndrome, but that's the subject of a later blog. My point is that this week, I have made a focused effort to be more social and to be a better friend.

At the end of a week filled with dinners out, dinners in, movies, concerts and new hair styles, I am exhausted. I've learned a lot... like that I need to allow my friends to be imperfect; I'm also allowed to be imperfect; and that going to bed after midnight every night for 7 days straight will make me extremely tired by Friday. Being social is good, but I need to pace myself.

It's Friday. I should go out with friends to celebrate the weekend, but, I'm thinking curling up on the couch with my cat, and enjoying my recent Netflix subscription is just what the doctor ordered.

Coming Out of Hiding

2010-01-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

Yes, I am aware. I have been gone for a very long time. Don't look at me like that. It wasn't personal. The thing is, although my blog gets few readers... I was starting to feel like my life was getting a little too public. I'm sorry for being away. But I'm back now. I'm ready to open up again. Especially now that I'm convinced no one is reading any more.

Last year, (and some of you may remember this, as I do believe that I blogged about it) I made a New Year's resolution to not have a New Year's resolution. It was the first New Year's resolution I've ever kept the entire year through. There were a few close calls though, moments where I was tempted to make some sort of effort to improve myself, but then I thought the better of it.

In all seriousness, 2009 was a pretty good, if uneventful year. One thing that surprised me that I did was that I took a year-long "sabbatical" from dating. That's right, folks. I'm admitting to the entire world that I, Betsy Holm, did not go on a single date for an entire year. Yes, that boy-crazy girl you've all come to know and love, did not go on a date for an entire year. By choice. Between nearly marrying a pedophile a couple years back, dating a series of gay guys trying to prove to the world they were straight, and meeting a whole bunch of crazies in between... I just thought it best in the long run that I take a break from it all. My heart, my mind, couldn't handle even one more disappointment.

So where has this social experiment left me? Do I feel totally recovered from the heartache? Am I ready to spring into a relationship and go skipping down the aisle? I don't know. Truthfully, if anything, not dating has left me shy and socially awkward. But... I am starting to feel like my old self again. And, folks, may I have a drum roll please. I have a crush. He works at a sandwhich shop by my work. I'm too shy to talk to him much. But, he winks at me when I order, and sometimes gives me a free side of orzo with my sandwich. I don't think anything will ever come of it, but just feeling the hope of wanting to be involved with someone again is an amazing thing. Afterall, if there is no hope... where's the joy in life?

Book Review: I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron

2009-12-07T09:22:00.001-07:00

I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts About Being a Woman by Nora Ephron

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
I Feel Bad About My Neck is a gem. As I was reading, I found myself more or less imagining that I was not reading, but actually enjoying a lively conversation over afternoon tea with the author. The essays were intelligent, sometimes moving, and always wildly entertaining. Every woman will find something they relate to in this book: whether it be an obsession with maintaining their youth, the desire to be a good parent, or even just the frustrations of carrying your life around with you in your purse. I often found myself laughing out loud while reading this. It is also a very quick, easy read that takes no more than a few hours to get through. A great way to spend a snowy, Saturday afternoon. I will read this one again.

View all my reviews >>

Thanksgiving is Here

2009-11-23T11:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

My heart has truly been filled with gratitude this week. I don't know if it is directly related to the fact that Thanksgiving will be here shortly, I'm sure that has something to do with it. Anyway, my heart has just been so full of thankfulness.

I'm grateful for so many things, for my faith, my home, my job, my family, my friends. Good music, good times, good health, good books. Laughter, love, life. Hope. I'm grateful for hope. I'm so grateful for so many things.

Thank you for reading.

I Keep Wanting to Blog, And Yet.... I Don't.

2009-11-13T15:02:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends:

I think I have writers block. I have the deisre to write, to blog, and yet, nothing is flowing. Do you know what the truth is? I think it's not writer's block, or blogger's block. Its a life block. My life has been soooo... well, let's put a positive spin on things. I won't say boring. I'll just say things have been a little uneventful in Betsy-land.

I don't want to admit it, but there have been many nights spent crocheting beanies and scarves while watching the Office and Biggest Loser on Hulu.

I guess there are a couple exciting things happening. They're not happening this very moment, per se, but they are exciting events that will take place in the relatively near future.

Number One: I have joined/co-founded a book club. Not only is it a book club, but it is a book and cook club. We will be reading a book each month, and then for our little club meeting, we will all make a dish of some sort to share, and bring along the recipe for everyone else in the group. The first book we're reading is "I Feel Bad About My Neck." (See Right.)

Number Two: (This one deserves a BIG drum roll.) After several years of being away from school, I have decided to FINALLY return. You know, as great as getting my associate's degree was, I just don't think I'll be fully happy with myself in the long term if I don't have more education. I will be attending the U of U and majoring in sociology and I'll also complete the criminology certificate program that they offer. I'll be over 30 when I graduate, but I will have finished my bachelor's degree. So happy! I will start summer semester.

So, that's it folks. Small update, but an update nonetheless. I'll try to be more exciting in the future.

After A Long Summers Break: A New Post

2009-10-04T16:50:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends,

Thank you to those of you who have in a loving, if not pushy, way have reminded me over the last few weeks that I need to update my blog. So without further ado, here is an update on yours truly.

My most exciting news is that one of my very best friends, Caryn, has some sweet connections and scored tickets to the Sunday session of LDS General Conference. She invited me to come along with her. I absolutely loved the conference. I particularly enjoyed being able to listen to Music and the Spoken Word. Maybe I'm way more of a nerd than I ever imagined, but turns out, I'm a HUGE fan of the MoTab.

Although I didn't get to stay for the afternoon session, I was particularly moved by the talks of the afternoon session. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a powerful and passionate talk about the Book of Mormon, and its truthfulness. He is truly one of my heroes and is someone who I look up to.

Thanks for reading, and I will try to update more regularly.

The Voices Are Having Conversations With Each Other

2009-07-07T20:41:00.002-06:00

Dear Friends:

Today has just been a funny day. Seriously. Maybe I've just been a little bit more quirky today than usual, or maybe I'm just 'on one', but either way, I've been highly amused all day long. If you could have heard the voices in my head, uh, I mean, my thoughts today... these are some of the things you would have heard:

-"Hmmmm.... I wounder if this guy realizes he is wearing his garments with out another shirt on over top? Oh, wait. That's right. He's on probation for bank robbery... so, probably not his garments. I wonder where he got them from? And is he wearing the bottoms too, or just the top?"

-"There's nothing I love more than feta cheese. Except for maybe making out. I wonder if there would ever be a circumstance where you could combine the two? Nah... probably not. Unless... nah."

-"Hmmm. This is the first time I can ever remember having B.O."

-"Pepper-spray is in my right pocket, cell phone is in the left. Pepper-spray is in the right pocket, cell phone is in the left..."

-"You are such a beautiful man. The only reason I would ever want you to leave is so I can check out your butt as you walk out the door."

-"Well... I could order pizza for dinner, or I could walk a mile and a half to the grocery store. I'm leaning towards pizza. But you ordered pizza last night, and you can't afford to do it again. But you really don't want to walk 1.5 miles in the heat carrying bags of groceries, either. Touche. And pizza does sound better. OK. Let's not argue. Just go to the store already. You can ride the bus home if you need to."

-"That was probably the loudest fart I've ever produced. I wonder if my co-workers out in the hallway could hear it? Glad I'm the only one in the bathroom right now."

-"My bus driver looks like Santa."

Thanks for tuning in, friends.

Love,
Betsy

Afrodesia: Why I Love Working & Living Downtown

2009-07-01T15:06:00.004-06:00

Dear Friends,

I am so in love with downtown Salt Lake City. I am fascinated by all the hustle and bustle, the professional business people hurrying to meetings, even the more "interesting" people fascinate me. You know the type I'm talking about, the ones who have hot pink hair, and tow their children in wagons attached to their vintage bicycles.

There is so much going on downtown that I have never been aware of until I moved closer to downtown. One of my favorite things I've discovered is the 'Brown Bag Lunch Concert Series.' They do hour long concerts during the lunch hour, and rotate locations throughout the summer. This week, the concerts have been literally right across the street from where I work.

I went with some girlfriends from work today. The band was called 'Afrodesia' and they drive a vegetable oil powered bus. Pretty cool, eh? And oddly enough, there is only one member of the band who looks even remotely ethnic, and he's not even African. He's more Asian. Eitherway, the music was actually really fun.

There is definitely no better way of spending your lunch hour than with friends, fun music and enjoying the sunshine.

Love, Betsy

O+: Conquering The World, One Needle at a Time

2009-06-25T14:59:00.007-06:00

Dear Friends,

I have what I like to call "Magical Veins". They disappear as soon as you start looking for them, and have even been known to move around. Oh, and did I mention that they shrink as soon as a needle makes an appearance? They truly are magical veins.

About 2 weeks ago, I received an email from my co-worker that there would be a blood drive today. When I was 18, I gave blood for the very first time. It was a horrific experience, because I hadn't drank enough water, and let's just say.... Betsy nearly passed out cold. And for all of my efforts, they only got 2/3 of a bag of blood out of me. And evidently, that just isn't enough to use, so it was all in vein, er, vain.

This time around, however, I made up my mind that I would not let my fear of needles and losing blood deter me from this very important cause. I donated today for the first time in 10 years. Even when the phlebotomist couldn't get more than a few drops of blood out of my left arm, and told me "I'm sorry, I don't think we're going to be able to use you today", I refused to be well, refused. I don't handle rejection well. I told him, "Look here, Mister. You better try my right arm, and you better make it BLEED." Well, I said it maybe a little nicer than that.

So here I am, one pint of blood lighter, 2 ace bandages heavier and with a belly full of trail mix, fruit juice and Swedish Fish. And someone out there is about to receive the gift of life, via a pint of super sassy, vitamin enriched, Betsy Blood.

Save a life. Donate blood.

Love,

Betsy

It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times...

2009-06-12T09:53:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends,

Thursday was both one of the most fun days ever, and it was also one of the most embarrassing days ever. As I've often said, never underestimate the power of Betsy's ability to humiliate herself in front of large crowds of people.

You see, a group of my friends and I decided to go see the Kelly Clarkson concert on thursday down in Orem. Let's just say... the evening started out a little rough for the Betster.

My darling friend, Caryn, had told me she would pick me up from work and drive us down to the show. Both Caryn & I are having car problems, so Caryn had to borrow her dad's Mini Cooper. (Sweet ride, I know.) So, at 5pm, Caryn calls and says she is here to pick me up. I ran outside, and I see a red Mini Cooper with tinted black windows waiting at the light right in front of my work. So I run into the street, grab the door handle, and then look into the tinted window... only to realize that this 30 year old man driving is not my friend Caryn, and this is not my friend Caryn's car. Pretty sure the driver nearly crapped his pants thinking he was about to be car-jacked by some neurotic, chubby girl.

Immediately after this incident, Caryn calls me and tells me she had gone to the wrong court house, and would be there in 3 minutes to get me. Yeah, thanks for that Caryn.

Once we finally got down to the show, we had to wait forever in line to get seats. It had been raining most of the day, so it was muddy, and wet, and this was an outdoor concert. We had heard the line was shorter if you went around the ball park, down the hill to the back entrance. So off we went. As we were hiking down the hill, Betsy decides to step in a huge, mud hole. I don't exactly know how to describe what happened next, but I believe the scientific term is I ass-planted. And on top of that, I slid probably 4 feet down the hill, in the mud. And I had to spend the rest of the concert looking like I had pooped my pants. It was awesome. Good thing I am the type of woman that is strikingly good looking, with or without brown skid marks down my backside. I was still lookin' good, have no worries about that, friends.

But, other than that, good times were had by all. We danced in the rain, sang along at the tops of our voices, and enjoyed a wonderful evening together.

All Sorts of Douche-iness Going On Around Here

2009-06-11T10:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends,

You know, sometimes I'm amazed by my parents. I've always believed that I'm extremely lucky to have the folks I've got. They are really good people, and we always have such a great time hanging out.

A few nights ago, I was watching a scary (if stupid) movie with my dad. I was doing some laundry while watching. At one point during the show, I ran into the laundry room to throw a load into the dryer. All of a sudden, my dad comes literally running into the laundry room, hollering at the top of his voice. I hadn't seen him, coming, so I did what came naturally: I jumped up and down, screamed at the top of my lungs, and waved my hands in front of my face. He had scared me SO bad. After I stopped screaming, I did what else came naturally: I yelled, "YOU DOUCHE! Why would you do that?!" We then laughed about the whole situation.

The next day, my dad was telling my mom about how I had called him a douche, and how it had just slipped out. We were all laughing, but my mom just says: "I don't get why you would call anyone a douche. Why don't you just say: 'Hey, toothpaste' or 'You're such a deodorant' or even 'Why are you acting like such a tampon?'

As the conversation progressed, my dad started to tell us how he wanted to buy a life size, steel polar bear from a local antiques shop, and put it on the front lawn. I told him, "Dad, people will think you've gone crazy." My mom turns and says, "No they wouldn't. They'd just drive by the house and say, 'Whata douche.'"

So, dear friends, I share this story with you so you will all have a deeper insight into 'Betsy'. Now you all know where my off-color sense of humor came from. I can't help that I'm the way I am! Clearly, I'm a result of the environment I was raised in.

Kids -Scratch That- MEN Say The Darndest Things

2009-06-09T08:38:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends,

I've often thought that I should write a memoir about my dating life. After I break up with a guy, or go out on a particularly bad blind date, I will often find myself thinking: "Did that really just happnen? I need to write a book!" My dating reality is hands down stranger than anyone else's dating fiction.

I thought you all might enjoy hearing a few gems that men have said to me over the last few years, mistakenly thinking that it would either: a)Impress me b)Make me swoon or c)Make me fall madly in love with them. In reality, all these guys did was give me something to laugh about, and well, something to blog about. Initials are being used to protect the privacy of the idiotic.

Please remember that these are all things that have actually been said to me. These are not exaggerated.

1. "By the way, you're lookin' hot today." -D.E., on Federal Probation

2. "Do you know why I aksed you out? Because you gots a big butt, and brothers like big butts." -G.T., a black guy who asked me out when I was 20.

3. "When the cops were interviewing the tellers who worked at the bank I robbed, they all told the cops that I was the nicest and most polite bank robber they seen... Maybe I can take you out for a nice steak dinner sometime?" -J.P., on Federal Probation (currently, re-incarcerated. For bank robbery.)

4. "Can you take me home with you?" -Random Homeless Guy on Main Street

5. "The only spicy thing I like is you." -R.M., a Brazilian guy I dated who later turned out to be gay

6. "One of my biggest ambitions in life is to buy a boat. I really want to do it before I move out of my parents house, otherwise, I won't be able to afford it."-N., a 32 year old I went on a blind date with last summer

7. "You look more and more beautiful, every time I see you." -I.K., on Federal Probation. Tested positive for meth immediately after telling me this.

8. "How would you feel about going skinny dipping after the movie?" -a guy I was set up with by my aunt. They thought we'd get along because we both had served LDS missions.

9. "You are going to destroy the man you finally end up with." -A.S., after deciding we were going to be 'just friends'. This was supposed to be compliment.

According to my dad, I'm still single because I'm too picky. The real reasons, my friends, are listed above.

Love,
Betsy

Life is...

2009-06-06T22:06:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends:

My dear friend Rub pointed out to me that it has been well over a month since I last updated my blog, and evidently, that is just too long to go between life updates.

So here I am. And you know.... I don't really have a lot to say. Here are a few things that have happened in the last few weeks:

-I was made April's employee of the month
-My car broke down
-My dad & I fixed my car
-Car broke down again
-I decided to rely on public transit and a bicycle (and rides from friends *hint, hint*) for my main modes of transportation. At least until it starts to snow heavily.

Oh yeah! My friend Rub invited me to be an author on one of her blogs, http://igaveupsugar.blogspot.com. We have decided to give up sugar all together. We'll see how this goes. But if you are interested in seeing our progress and our thoughts, please feel free to check it out.

One last tidbit: My buddy Andrew has been encouraging me for a long time to start posting reviews of restaurants, buisnesses, etc on Yelp.com. If you're interested in seeing what I have to say about local restaurants, and other places about town, check me out at www.betsyh.yelp.com.

Love,
Betsy

2009-04-29T09:30:00.001-06:00

Girls Gone Wild: Vernal Edition

2009-04-29T08:40:00.001-06:00

Dear Friends:

On Saturday 04/18, my friends Caryn & Rub & myself went on a road trip to the beautiful city of Vernal! OK. So, the city itself was not all that great, but I had the time of my life. I've never had more fun on a trip. Ever.

Trip highlights:

Rub being pulled over for doing 90 MPH in a 65 zone just outside of Midway. (Officer: "Where's the fire ma'am?" Rub: "Dinosaurland?" Me: "Just for the record, Officer, I've been telling my friend to slow down for the past 10 miles.")
Betsy being yelled at for hiding in the trees inside an exhibit (Over the loudspeaker: "You are too close to the display! Please back away from the display!")
Caryn & Myself having rednecks in a jacked up truck honk & whistle as they drive by while Rub is taking our picture
General loud laughter and riotous actions

Here is a slide show for your viewing pleasure. Thanks for reading.

Love,

Betsy

Deep Thoughts and A Petition For The Revival of Common Courtesies

2009-04-22T16:42:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends:

There is an older man that lives on my street, one block down, and on the opposite side of the way. If I had ever run into him on the street or at the grocery store, I might have suspected that he was a homeless man, or at the very least, a man of little means. But, he lives in the avenues, with his wife and children, in a house with a large wrap around porch.

From the first day of Spring-like weather until the late Autumn day when the weather finally turns so intolerable that one can no longer be comfortable outside, this man sits on his front porch. Every morning. A cup of coffee in one hand, and a cigarette in the other.

I drive past him every morning on the way to work. I've never taken the time to walk down the block to introduce myself, nor has he ever introduced himself to me. I don't know any of his family. But, he recognizes my car, and he knows that I drive past every morning, and every morning, he waves at me as I drive by.

I'm ashamed to admit that it took me probably 2 or 3 times of driving by before I ever even thought to wave back. Sometimes, if I'm in a hurry, or if I don't feel good, or if I'm in a bad mood, I don't muster up the courage to wave at my neighbor as I drive by. But no matter what, he always waves at me. Even if I don't return the favor.

It is such a small, inconsequential thing to wave at someone, to greet someone, to notice someone, especially when you don't actually know them. However, I'm convinced that our society would be remarkably better if we just took the time to smile at each other, to greet each other, to wish someone a "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon". If it makes my day better, it would probably make everyone else's day a little better too. And if everyone's day gets even marginally more cheery, well, you can imagine what a different world it would be. Its the Butterfly Effect- one small action can change the world.

For me, my mornings are much brighter when my friend whom I've never met waves at me on my way to work. I'm making a new goal to always wave back to him. I hope it makes his day a little better when I do.

No Sympathy for the Devil, or For People in Electric Wheelchairs

2009-04-17T11:15:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends:

Disclaimer: This post may be viewed by some as "Politically Incorrect". If I offend, I apologize.

Yesterday, I was at the Walgreens. After I had made my purchases, and was leaving the store, I was nearly run over by an older "disabled" person in a Jazzy.

Seriously.

I have no sympathy for these people. 90% of people who drive these power chairs do so recklessly. Those machines can drive like, 30 MPH. And just because they CAN go that fast, doesn't mean you SHOULD drive them that fast, especially when entering a Walgreens.

Also, this is not the first time this has happened. I've been nearly run down by old people in Jazzies before. Its almost like these people have a chip on their shoulder against otherwise mobile people, and are trying to mow us all down in some fit of jealous rage.

I think there should be some sort of law about these devices. I'm demanding speed limits, special drivers liscences and driving classes should be required for anyone who chooses to drive a Jazzy. For the wellbeing for upright walking citizens everywhere. Please write to your local congressman. Thank you.

Love,

Betsy

Happy Monday: Here's a list of things I've done to avoid actually working today

2009-04-13T09:46:00.000-06:00

I struggle on Monday mornings. I really do. My mind just doesn't seem to kick in until, well, usually Friday afternoon. The thing that is hard, is I actually do have a list of things I need to be doing. But I just can't seem to make myself focus enough to start my list. So, instead of working, I have done the following:

1. Read the blogs of EVERYONE I know. (And a few of people I don't know)

2. Eaten nearly an entire bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs

3. Done the Isaac Asimov Super Quiz, Jumble and 1/2 of the NY Times Crossword puzzle from Friday's Salt Lake Tribune.

4.Checked everyone's blogs again to see if they've been updated in the last 15 minutes.

5.Read the real estate listings on Craigslist to see all the houses and condos I wish I could afford, but can't.

6. Updated my blog with a list of all the things I've done instead of working.

7. Took a picture with my cell phone of my empty bag of candy & my completed newspaper puzzles.

And you thought FRIDAY the 13th was bad. MONDAY the 13th is 100 times worse. Its gonna be a looooong day....

At Least the All Gay Men Love Me

2009-04-10T16:48:00.001-06:00

Dear Friends,

For the better part of my life, I have had high hopes of having men love me. Obviously, I would like to have a meaningful relationship at some point, and I have often expressed my antics/frustrations/adventures involving the opposite sex many a time. We all know that Betsy has an illness for men. They give me verbal diarrhea, and I talk about men (both implicity and generally) a great deal of the time. And as my dear friend Britta told me, they give me the fevers. Well, the exact quote was "Betsy you definitely suffer from occaisional bouts of 'Jungle Fever'". But you know what I'm saying.

But somehow, as fantastic as I am, I seem to have developed into 'man magnet'- of sorts. We all know magnets have both a + and a - end, one attracts and one repels. The problem is, my magnet has somehow flip-flopped. My positive end is attracting gay men, and my negative end is repelling the straight ones.

Case in point:

Haven't been on a date since DECEMBER. Yeah, that's right. I'm owning it. 4 months.

BUT, in the past week (yes, in the last 7 days) I have had all of the following events have happened:

My friend Jeremy and his new boyfriend came to visit me at work at Williams-Sonoma. Jeremy's new boyfriend LOVED me, and kept raving about how we all need to hang out.
Shaun, a gay man who comes into my full time work once a week to drop off reports from a drug testing facility, couldn't make it in like he usually does. So, he sent another employee with the reports and a note specifically written "To Betsy" just to say hello and sorry he couldn't come in to see me.
And the best story.... I was grocery shopping at the Wal-Mart, and happend to pass the hair color aisle. I hear a man talking, and as I pass, I hear him say "Oh my gosh, I love your hair! Who does it for you?" I kept walking. So he says, (very flamboyantly, might I add) "No, YOU!" So I stopped, and he proceeded to tell me how much he just loooooved my hair, and made me stop to pick out hair color for him. (He was Polynesian, and was trying to go blonde. I hope I directed him wisely.) He then proceeded to tell me how pretty and nice I am.

So, friends, I guess I'm just askin' for a little help. Anyone who can give me some advice on how to set my 'man magnet' straight (no pun intended) would be gratefully listened to.

Love,

Betsy

A New Blog, and The Mysterious Disappearing Water Bottle

2009-04-08T16:01:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends:

After months of writing on my old blog (here), I've decided it best to part ways with it. You may have noticed, if you've been reading me frequently, that my blog design tends to change quickly. Mainly because I'm indecisve to the nth degree, but also because I have a phobia of other people having the same blog background as me. In fact, the only thing that changes quicker than my blog's background is my hair color. Don't judge. A girl's gotta have quirks to keep her interesting. My point is, at some point during my blog changing and re-doing, I inadvertantly screwed up the html to where my blog, no matter how I adjusted it, constantly read "undefined undefined" below the title.

One of my dear coworkers, Amber, told me that it actually was fitting, because really, 'How does one define Betsy? She is at best undefined'. Tempting to leave it alone for that reason. I decided to scrap it all and start over.

So I do have a story to tell today. There is a custodian in my office who comes in at 10:00am everyday to dust, remove trash and otherwise get in the way. He is.... special. Generally, he does a very good job at what he does. However the last few days he's been a little 'off'. For example, yesterday, he took the trash out of my wastebasket, put in a new trashbag, and then left the full bag of trash in the middle of my office floor.

This morning, I got up to use the rest room and refill my water bottle. I have a water bottle that I'm in love with. Seen here:

Cute, no? Now you see why one could be *slightly* possesive over it. Anyway, I never take my waterbottle into the restroom with me (I mean, ewww. Gross.) I just leave it on the counter next to the office exit. When I came back from using the restroom, my waterbottle was missing. MISSING. Panic ensues. I went back to the restroom- Maybe I accidently took it in there with me. I went back to my desk. I start interrogating everyone I see. I walk past where I left it 3 times, it is not there. Finally, I see the custodian. I corner him.

Me:"Have you seen my water bottle?"

Him:"Yes. I threw it away."

Me:"Excuse me?"

Him:"No, its over on the counter."

Me:"I just looked there. Its not there."

Him:"Yes it is."

So I look. It is there.

Me: "It wasn't there 2 seconds ago. Where was it?"

Him: "I threw it away. But I decided I better not."

Me: "Good thing, D. Good thing."

Friends, please don't mess with my waterbottle. Or I'll hurt you.

Love,
Betsy

A Very *Betsy* Blog

Aloha.... Finally, A Blog Post

A Pizza the 80's

The Sorrows of Spin Class

Why I'm Still Single

Reading Twilight Made me Sick. Literally.

2010: A Year in Random Cell Phone Photos

2010: A Year in Review

I've Pretty Much Always Been Awesome

Summer Adventures

0 to Summer in 3.6 Seconds

Bkrptcy

My 30th Year of Life

Moving on Up...

Happy Valentines Day: I Left My Heart in SFO

Dreams

So Tired I Can't Sleep

Coming Out of Hiding

Book Review: I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron

Thanksgiving is Here

I Keep Wanting to Blog, And Yet.... I Don't.

After A Long Summers Break: A New Post

The Voices Are Having Conversations With Each Other

Afrodesia: Why I Love Working & Living Downtown

O+: Conquering The World, One Needle at a Time

It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times...

All Sorts of Douche-iness Going On Around Here

Kids -Scratch That- MEN Say The Darndest Things

Life is...

Girls Gone Wild: Vernal Edition

Deep Thoughts and A Petition For The Revival of Common Courtesies

No Sympathy for the Devil, or For People in Electric Wheelchairs

Happy Monday: Here's a list of things I've done to avoid actually working today

At Least the All Gay Men Love Me

A New Blog, and The Mysterious Disappearing Water Bottle

A Very Betsy Blog